Month: November 2015

The parcel arrived it was the gift that keeps giving

Posted on by shrads

Earlier in the year I was a teeny bit disappointed with myself because I’d missed out on the #SummerTimeSurpriseProject.

If you haven’t already heard of it, it’s a project about spreading kindness and celebrating connections and is the brainchild of one of my favourite bloggers Capture by Lucy. Quite simply, you are paired up with another person and you send each other a parcel of gifts (with a guide maximum cost of £5). Everyone aims to send their parcels so that they arrive in time to open on the same day.

Luckily my pouty pout was short-lived as I realised that Lucy had already decided to run another SurpriseProject in the Autumn.

This time I managed to sign up in time and have to say I really enjoyed thinking about the things I could include. I thought about the sorts of things that might put a smile on my partner’s face. I squirrelled away little gifts whenever I came across them. And last week I took my time to wrap these tiny treasures and I posted my parcel. It felt so lovely.

This year has been a particularly difficult one for me for many different reasons. But it has also taught me that despite everything that is happening in the world, and in our own lives, there is still an abundance of kindness out there. For me this project really embraces the idea that you can pass on a kindness, even to someone you’ve never met. Best of all it makes me think about other ways I can be kind and how I can pass those thoughts on to my two boys.

If you’d like to get involved there’s a WinterTimeSurpriseProject planned so make sure you bookmark SurpriseProject and you can be part of something special.

My #AutumnTimeSurpriseProject for my partner
My #AutumnTimeSurpriseProject for my partner
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Is it in you to be honest

Posted on by shrads

‘Mama, your neck looks old’
‘I’m sorry what?’
‘Your neck Mama. It looks, y’know, old and I know something that can help make that better…’

I didn’t hear the rest of what Snr Son was gibbering about, this so-called cure for an old neck (what am I, a turkey?) because it was a cold, grey, miserable morning. And as usual, I was rushing about trying to get both sons and myself ready for the nursery/school drop off and then psyche myself up for the comute to work.

My friends and family know that I am most definitely NOT a morning person. I have never had that morning spark, that get up and go, that eagerness to start the day that some people have. You definitely could not (and would not) use the word pep to describe me in the mornings. And to add insult to injury, I am pretty much permanently sleep-deprived thanks to Jnr Son’s night-time antics so suffice it to say that my mood is not the best in the mornings. So my usual response to something like this would probably have been a short, sharp reprimand for being rude and unkind.

But I looked at that face and I realised he wasn’t being unkind, he was just saying what he saw. You see, Snr Son is a few weeks away from 6 so hasn’t quite learnt the finer points of discretion or empathy so I knew I couldn’t blame him for speaking honestly.

Even though my feelings were hurt and even though I wanted to bark at him for being so mean, I took a breath and told him calmly that I am getting older so parts of me will start to look older. And I also told him that sometimes people don’t like to hear that they are looking old.

It’s a tricky stage of childhood this one. I believe it’s (Husb and) my job as parents to teach our boys how to be kind, thoughtful and honest. This is particularly important at the moment as Snr Son has recently discovered lying and is starting to test the boundaries. So while we have to teach him that he has to try and be honest, we also have to teach him empathy and sometimes, being empathetic means not always saying the truth out aloud. If I ask you ‘do I look old’, then by all means tell me the truth, but if I haven’t asked you, don’t offer this information up to me!

It’s a tricky concept for a five year old (one that some adults still haven’t mastered) – always tell the truth when you’re asked but if you’re not asked then don’t point out the truth because it can be hurtful. It’s even trickier to try and instill this as a rule to live by and the last thing we want is for Snr Son to stop being honest, to start lying. But we’ll keep trying our best.

And now that I’ve had a whole day to think about it, I need to get home and ask him what this wonder cure is. And maybe, just maybe, I can make my millions from it!

http://letslassothemoon.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/the-truth.png

IMAGE source: letslassothemoon.com
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Just blog!

Posted on by shrads

I have been dragging my feet a bit. Well okay, a lot.

I really, reeeeaaallly want to blog regularly again. But I keep sabotaging myself when I see how amazing blogs are these days. Back when I blogged prolifically I was used to just gibbering away in the hope that somebody out there in the big, bad world felt the same way I did. I didn’t have to worry about revealing my name or whether my blog looked just so, or if I had an excellent social media strategy. I just wrote because I felt like it.

A few months ago, thanks to the power of social media, I reconnected with an old-school blogger pal of mine. Unlike me, she has continued to blog, established a successful career and has pretty much become a doyen of the blogging world. I was sharing my concerns with her and she said something pretty powerful….

It’s given me a bit of a lift and now I just need to give myself a kick up the bum and start writing again in earnest. Wish me luck!

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‘Til tomorrow

Posted on by shrads
Recycled from my paranoidpromqueen days, written November 2004

He looks up expectantly and when he realises she isn’t there checks his watch; it’s not yet ten to nine. He gets back to work and the next time he looks up she is standing there in front of him. As is the way every morning she looks a little flustered and and her eyes flit around never quite settling on him. She seems a little nervy so he smiles at her. He thinks that there is some sort of unspoken connection between them, that if the universe ever saw fit to bring them together for a proper chat they would find so much to talk about and they wouldn’t stop. He wonders if she ever thinks of him and if a proper chat is at all likely. Probably not. Still, she is here now so he flashes his best smile at her, ignores his other customers and hands the cup straight to her, ‘Semi-skimmed latte?’ As she takes the cup her fingers brush past his ever so slightly, and she looks him in the eye. They are both aware of the tiny, fleeting frisson hanging in the air between them. ‘Thank you’ she says, smiling at him, and off she goes to start her day.

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